If I am to change, it is up to me. Whatever is happening in my life is an inside job. My thought patterns influence my decision-making, and I am the byproduct of my consistent choices. My issues and concerns do not arise by chance; they are shaped by my responses to events and circumstances, which are guided by my feelings and convictions.
My life is in my hands, and it is my responsibility to make conscious decisions. I am accountable—the buck stops here. With this understanding as the backdrop, taking ownership of my affairs becomes critical to the direction my life is taking. When I acknowledge this truth, I realize I have far more authority than I once believed. This confirms what I have long known: it is up to me whether I change.
This realization is both a revelation and a confirmation. I am a change agent, capable of living my best life. Now is the time to live according to my desires rather than my limitations. I have the power to move mountains and to create a path that allows me to achieve the desires of my heart.
I suffer needlessly when I focus on my limitations instead of viewing my life as a continuum. When I look back, I see that I have already accomplished much—far more than I once expected. I am an accomplished author with a published book, a feat many aspire to but never achieve. Countless authors have manuscripts sitting in obscurity, yet I crossed that monumental threshold.
Beyond that, I overcame a catastrophic illness that many have not survived. Mental health challenges can be debilitating, yet I worked in the field for 34 years while managing bipolar disorder since the age of 21. I was a career student, raising a baby when I first entered college. When I went to register for my final semester, the registrar informed me—unexpectedly—that I would also be graduating. I was floored.
Life continued to bring challenges. A diagnosis of a catastrophic illness blindsided me, yet within that season, a long-standing and devastating disease was resolved. Even amid uncertainty, restoration was possible.
I have achieved much in my lifetime—accomplishments that few people realize are possible amid the mountains and valleys of life. Through it all, my joy and reverence for life have never ceased. I continue to delight myself in the Lord, knowing He has never forsaken me and has kept His loving arms of protection around me.
Because of these experiences, I have gained insight and spiritual awareness. Seeking comfort from the Lord has become the most sustainable and defining characteristic of my life.