Your life’s direction is up to you, and indecision hinders your progress. You are holding on to old issues and concerns, and to emotional attachments that linger and consume your energy and ability to move forward. You are the victim, and you are justifying your errant ways.
I am in a cycle that I legitimize and hold hostage because I have yet to acknowledge that I have exhausted the possibilities of changing my life at a time when the need to make changes is imminent.
I compromise myself and am neither happy nor happy with my family. We are at a crossroads and must accept that change is okay and necessary. I have written extensively about the challenges that we have created for ourselves.
I acknowledge that I have fostered the adversarial relationship we have. I dropped the ball by admission and should have harbored ill feelings. My family did not experience the nurturing, diplomatic person that they needed. I was the ogre mostly and had zero tolerance for dissent. I ruled with an iron fist, the very person I despised in my father.
A lack of nurturing was detrimental to my father’s parenting. It created an atmosphere of resentment among both parents and children. We look at life on a continuum, and the generational conflict warrants addressing it.
Taking ownership of your life is a timely and fitting approach to changing the narrative of your life. I could have handled my family dynamics better, especially when I asked God for a wife and family to help me deal with my unresolved issues. I was a young father, and I felt a void in my life because I never married and was a noncustodial parent.
I enjoyed being in love and having children. I felt the need to have a family, but my focus on my expectations, beliefs, and rigid standards impeded that. It was when my expectations and my projection of them onto someone else fell short. It’s unrealistic to impose your wishes on someone else without allowing them to be who they are.
After all, we are to deal with someone for who they are and who they are not, and allow for their personal growth. Isn’t this what we expect someone to do for us? We can become fixated on our needs and lose perspective on the fact that we are not to dictate the terms of someone else’s journey. Again, we have our journeys and are worthy of the same consideration.
My feelings compromise my reasoning faculties. I am no different from anyone else, nor am I above the rules of engagement. I am held accountable for being the emblem of a renewed mindset and transformation process.
It’s not always easy, but being aware of the importance of consistency is the key to my spiritual evolution. The Lord will give me the desires of my heart, and I am always mindful of leaning on the Lord and not my understanding. I look to the Lord for guidance and know he will direct my path.
A disconnection has remained constant in my marriage and family dynamics. Tragically, as I alluded to earlier, that was self-inflicted and fostered by my own devices. I was less in tune with the need to be objective, not to impose unrealistic expectations on my wife, and to allow for her growth. Being in a prejudiced and presumptive role was a disservice to my entire family constellation.
The transformative process is ongoing and so crucial in my life that I must receive the blessings the Lord has in store.