When things need to change yet somehow remain the same, I must be honest about the role I play in unresolved matters. I have spoken at length about the dynamics within my family, but there has been a significant shift in its trajectory.
My eldest son, Joshua, and I have experienced a transformation in our relationship—one that was both necessary and long overdue. For years, our relationship was tumultuous, creating disruption and distress in our lives. We remained stuck in the familiar struggle of determining who was right and who was wrong, unwilling to yield to the higher standard that was needed. The cost was immense, affecting not only us but the sanctity of our entire family.
There were many instances when I did not allow Joshua into the home, even involving the police on more than one occasion to remove him. Yet the last time he came, something was different. The presence of the Creator was both known and felt in that moment.
Without fully realizing it, I was stepping into the very transformation I have often spoken about. As my brother Nip once said, “Don’t listen to what they say—watch what they do.” Compassion must be lived, not just spoken. If I truly claim to be compassionate, it must first be evident in my own home.
Today, our home is more peaceful and nurturing—something we desperately needed. The ongoing conflict had taken a toll on everyone. What we needed was healing and a renewed mindset to guide our family. We had suffered needlessly, but now, instead of normalizing dysfunction, we are beginning to experience a sense of peace and beauty that reflects the Creator’s work within us.
Looking back, I realize that a house is not a home without love. Breaking this cycle has been like breaking a bad habit. Had I believed sooner that change was possible, I might have acted differently much earlier.
To anyone facing their own emotional struggles, I offer this: I cannot change the past, but I can choose to move forward differently. Take ownership of the role you have played, but just as importantly, take ownership of the role you can play in creating a new beginning.
We all fall short, yet we serve a Creator who is patient and understanding—one who gives us time, guidance, and the opportunity for redemption. We are not discarded; we are worthy of restoration. There is a deeper level of awareness within us, waiting to be realized. As it is said, we often do not have because we do not ask.
Like the prodigal child in scripture, we may stray, but the love of the Creator remains constant. Like the father in that story, He waits with anticipation, watching for our return—ready to welcome us home.